High School Story
by catwoman03
Summary: It's tough having a psycho step-father, especially when he beats you, every. single. day. and to have two annoying little step-siblings who are just the same. And to make thing worse, I have school. I have no friends, but I have bullies instead. It was pretty tough, and I wasn't coping...until I met them...until I met Aya. Rated T for Language, drugs, self harm, suicidal references
1. This Is Only The Beginning

**PLEASE READ!**

 **Hello, here's a new story I've been wanting to do since I read 'Perks of being a Wallflower' I love the book and I wanted to do a GLTAS version of it. So here it is.**

 **This story, Razer is explaining things that happened a few years ago in which lead up to the present time. In this chapter, it sort of explains some things from when he first meets Ilana and pretty much how his life turned to shit.**

 **Later in the story he will meet everyone and there will be Razaya, which I look forward to writing. Everything that happened in the show will pop up in it's own secret way and I will be leaving clues in there. Even in the tiniest of things. Hehehe**

 **I don't own GLTAS but I wish I did. I only own my OC's which _are_ based off real people.**

High School Story

Saturday, 15 May 2015,

Uhh, how do I start this? Hi ...Hello ...I'm sure you can see I'm not good at this. My friend gave me this thing and it has a microphone which I connect to my Laptop and I think I just talk and it writes it down. Weird. I wouldn't be doing this at all if it weren't for a dear friend of mine who said I should be talking about things that happened a few years ago leading up to around today and just sending it out for at least the possibility that someone to see it, I wouldn't be surprised if no one is seeing this but honestly, I don't care.

Okay ...well, first things first ...hi, my name is Razer, I'm 18 years old, I have short red hair, I have strange birth marks on my face which look like stripes, I'm quite tall, I like wearing black and red a lot, and I hate my life.

Sorry, that was a bit too straight forward, but it's true. You're probably confused at that sudden declaration. I wouldn't be surprised.

So here's why I hate my life. To start off, my Step-Father, his name is Anthony but he calls himself ' _Atroscitous_ ' don't ask why, I don't even know. He's an aggressive alcoholic/drug addict and he takes his anger out on myself and my two step-siblings. Their names, Bleez and Zillious, don't ask, they're his kids and he named them. Anyway, his way of releasing his anger, is violence. And I mean _real_ violence. I have scars and bruises on my back, ribs and shoulders that prove my point if you don't believe me. I would show you, but I don't think this thing has a camera of any sort. Oh well, I'll just have to hope you believe me.

Second on the list: School. I used to go to Volkreg Private School. You're probably thinking, oh _, he went to a Private School; he must be really rich and really stuck-up right?_ Wrong. Not everyone that goes to a Privet School is stuck-up. I don't have a lot of money either; and no friends there ...but I have bullies instead. Yay!

I hope you could sense the sarcasm then, because I really hate it there. _Seriously_ , I'm surprised I'm not dead yet! Every. Day. Is exactly. The same. Walk in the front gates, get hit. Walk to my locker, get hit. Sit down in the classroom; you guessed it, get. hit. If I ever miss a day from school for any particular reason the next day the beatings would get worse. The teachers didn't care, everyone else didn't either. Except one girl, her name was Ilana. She was a really sweet girl, really caring and friendly, plus I had a huge crush on her.

I remember one day the beatings got really out of hand and I was on the verge of unconsciousness when she'd come out of nowhere and then pushed the guys away. They complained and some threatened to hit her, but she told them off. I remember being beyond shocked when that happened. She knelt down beside me and she was being ...nice to me. It felt so weird, but good. She helped me to the school nurse and sat with me. When the nurse walked in she wasn't surprised to see me, it had become something of a habit and it kinda turned into some sort of a friendship, the nurse is really nice to me and she cares about me ...I think. I know what you're thinking; _Ha! He was friends with one of the staff members at school and he didn't have any actual friends, what a loser._

Yeah ...well I am a loser ...and I'm okay with that ...I think.

So after I was given some medicine and I was all bandaged up, I was seated on one of those bed/chair thingies and Ilana stayed. The bell for class had gone and she didn't move a muscle. The nurse had left to call my step-dad, so Ilana and I were left alone in awkward silence. She was looking around the room, and I just looked at her. I know that sounds creepy, but I was just _so_ confused.

"Why?" I remember my voice being really raspy. She looked over at me and she seemed confused too.

"Why what?"

"W-why did you help m-me?" man, my voice really wasn't working that day. She looked really confused and a little annoyed.

"Because they were hurting you ...I wanted to help you,"

"What about every other time, huh? Or did today just seem like the right day to help!" I didn't mean to snap at her, but I was just beaten up and she's acting like she hadn't noticed before. I've seen her in the crowd of surrounding people who watched every other time.

"I saw you being hurt and I wanted to help you. If I'd known you were going to be an asshole about it I would have left you there!" She then stood up and got ready to leave. Then something came over me, I don't know what it was, but I didn't want her to leave.

"Wait!" My voice hardly made it out but she stopped. She turned around. "I'm sorry...I haven't exactly had a good day, _or a good life_ " the last part she didn't seem to hear. She came back over and sat down on a chair beside me, and then she took hold of my hand. I swear I nearly died at that moment. The only time someone was actually being nice to me and it was my crush! And she was holding my hand!

"It's alright," I was too busy looking at our hands to pay any attention. The nurse walked back in and said that Anthony was on his way here. She also told Ilana to go back to class. She kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I remember it feeling like those old Disney movies where the person who got kissed would slowly sway down to the ground as if they were like a piece of paper. She walked out and the nurse gave me an amused look before walking away. I sat there stunned for half an hour before Anthony walk in with his usual scowl, completely ruining the little happiness I felt before. We walked out of the school and got in the car, and already I could tell he wasn't in a good mood. Well, what he considered a good mood. This was the third time this week he had to take me home for getting beat up. And it was only Wednesday!

He let out a deep aspirated sigh before starting off with a somewhat normal beginning of a conversation. For him, that is. "So...how was school?"

"Fine." I had crossed my arms and slouched in the car seat. "Everything was _just_ fine."

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He hated it when I was being sarcastic. "And you wonder why you have no friends, you're a fucking asshole, that's why," then he hit me upside the head. Did I forget to mention my head was bandaged and I had a killer headache too?

See how before I said Anthony was my _step_ -dad, I'll go a bit further back for you to understand how he came into my life in the first place okay? Okay, well...sigh...a few years before my Mother met Anthony, it was just us two, my actual father left when I was born so I've never met him and I don't plan to anytime soon. I could see that he really hurt her when he left, so I took care of her. We were pretty happy for a broken family but we had each other and that's all we needed. Wow, that sounded really weird, I'm sorry. Anyway, we were really close and we always had fun. Plus, she was really intelligent. Every problem I ever had, be it homework or with friends I used to have, she always knew what to say. It was impossible to win an argument with her, that's one of the many things I miss about her; she would always leave me standing there speechless before I was sent to my room. I regret ever arguing with her.

About three years ago when I was 15, she was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer. At first when she told me, I didn't think anything of it, I just assumed it would go away and everything would be fine, 'all would be well' as one of my friends now says. And really I thought I was right. We went in for treatment, we went and saw many doctors, and they said everything would be fine, and we believed them. _I_ believed them.

But over time, it only got worse, she had collapsed once when she was at work and she was sent to the nearest Hospital. And that's where she met Anthony. He was in the same ward as her, and he was in for...oh, I don't know something to do with getting into a fight of some sort, I wasn't really paying attention, I was mostly focused on the large burn scar he had going up his face. I know, I know, it's rude to stare...but it was _huge!_ I had to ask.

"How did you get the..." I pointed up and down my own face for him to understand on one of the days when I went to visit Mum.

"Oh this?" he then pointed to the scar. "I got this from one of my friends, he accidentally lit my house on fire," _Err what?_ "I was sleeping at the time and I caught on fire and I was sent to hospital, but that was years ago, I'm over it now, I've forgiven him."

"...You have really strange friends," was all I said. He just laughed and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I know kid, I know." Well, he seemed like a relatively nice guy, and mum felt the same. No one had ever nicknamed me 'kid' and I didn't really know how to respond to it.

Several weeks after she was sent to hospital, Anthony was well enough to leave, _but_ , he didn't. Every day after school when I would come in a visit her, he would always be there, and I could never really talk to mum for long before he would bud in and start talking. Mum and I never really had time to ourselves anymore because of him and it was starting to get on my nerves. Okay, that kinda sounded like I was a jealous mama's boy just then but that was seriously how it felt. He started bringing her flowers, he would kiss her on the cheek and she loved it. And I hated it. I couldn't even get a moment to talk to her alone, because no matter what, he was always there.

One day when I walked in to see her, Anthony was holding her hand and they were kissing, I mean _really_ kissing. His other hand went up from resting on her waist to touch her breast and I felt sick.

" _Ahem_ ," I coughed and that seemed to get their attention. They broke apart and looked at me a little startled.

"Razer?" she seemed shocked. I just stood there frozen like a statue. "Honey, what are you doing here?" I couldn't believe she actually just said that.

"It's 4:32pm. I came to see you, school finished two hours ago and I wanted to drop in," I looked at Anthony who was smirking at me. "Obviously I wasn't needed," then I walked away. I heard Mum calling out for me to come back but I was too pissed off. I know, _mama's boy._

I stormed down the halls and threw open the front doors of the hospital and kicked a metal bin. Small warning: metal + foot, not a good combination. Anyway, after my foot stopped hurting I went for a small walk through the park across the hospital to clear my head. After a few minutes, I sat down on one of the benches. I waited for myself to calm down, but to make things worse, Anthony somehow found me. _Because I didn't already feel like shit_. He came and sat down beside me and I just stared at my feet. He was the last person in the _world_ I wanted to talk to.

"Hey kid," he tried to start as if nothing had happened, and that just made me angrier. I didn't answer him and he continues. "How are you?" _You've got to be kidding me!_ He then let out a deep sigh. "Listen kid, we didn't want you to find out this way, I'm sorry you had to see tha-" I didn't let him finish because I had gotten up and tried to walk away. See how I said ' _tried_ ' yeah, well, I failed because Anthony had got up and had gotten a tight hold of my arm and it really hurt. I tried to pull away but his grip grew painfully tighter. "Don't walk away from me," he snapped, and I could hear the venom in his voice. This was a new side of him I doubt Mum knew about. I turned back to see him glaring at me so I did the same back at him. I finally pulled my arm free and I faced him.

"When did you plan on telling me you and Mother were dating?" our glares never lost their fierceness. Is fierceness even a word? Oh well, it is now.

"Don't try and make this about you, this was our decision, we don't need your opinion about this," I wasn't making any of this about me; I just wanted to know because she's my mother, and he's an asshole who doesn't know the meaning of the word 'privacy'.

"I'm not trying to make anything about me," I snapped. "I just wanted to know since she's my Mother and I never get told anything anymore," Okay when I said that I felt the mama's boy vibe and so did Anthony. I was expecting him to say something to be more of a dick but instead, he sighed again and put his hand on my shoulder. Still, I continued to glare at him.

"She wanted to tell you, but every time you're here, you're always quiet,"

"That's because you're always here!" I shook his hand away and I swear I started seeing red. "I never get time to actually talk to her because you're always here!" And then I growled at him. I mean I _actually_ growled at him. He wasn't the only one who was surprised, that'd never happened before. "Will you do me a favour and just _fuck off!"_ He stood still for a few moments. Then he punched me! I'll admit I kinda deserved it at first but still, he _punched me!_

I fell back a few metres and held onto my aching jaw. I could feel it throbbing and I knew there was going to be a large bruise. I looked back up at him and he was glaring so hard at me. I think he would have hit me again, but the first one had caught some people's attention so he just glared. But that didn't stop me.

I let go of my jaw and swung my arm out with a lot of force and struck him right in his nose. Or as one of my friends says ' _I popped him right in the snout'_

He didn't move at all, but I could tell it hurt him. His nose was red and was bleeding; it had already started to swell up quite a lot. He wiped his hand under his nose and examined the blood on his palm. His eyes narrowed dangerously at the blood before staring up at me. I didn't want him to see how scared I was, so I just continued to glare at him. But it wasn't working too well.

I swallowed hard when he began walking towards me.

He took large steps in my direction and gripped a handful of my hair and pulled my face up to look at him. It hurt badly and it felt like he was on the verge of actually ripping my hair out of my head.

He wiped away more blood and tugged harder at my hair. I tried desperately to pull his hands away, but the more I tried, the more pain I felt. I felt tears building up in my eyes and I fought greatly not to let them fall. He had his arm raised, his fist ready to hit me again, but then

"Hey!"

We both turned around and saw a guy about a few years older than me running towards us. He was rather tall, a muscularly built up person. Is muscularly a word? I dunno, anyway, he had dark brown hair and eyes. He wore a deep green t-shirt, black jeans and green shoes. He seemed angry yet worried at the same time.

"Hey, what's going on over here?" he asked, he was trying to choose his words carefully as if he might set off a bomb, and I was pretty sure he would. "What's all this about?"

"That's none of your business!" Anthony snapped. "Leave us! This is none of your concern!" The stranger didn't move an inch. He crossed his arms over his chest and just stood there. Anthony fiercely let go of me, sending me back into one of the trees behind us. He then turned to face the man. Although Anthony towered over him, the man didn't seem at all intimidated. And that pissed Anthony right off.

"I. Said. _Leave_." The voice he used had sent chills down my spine and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. But the man stood perfectly still. Anthony clenched his jaw tight and balled his fists.

"I'm not going anywhere," the man said, his voice was determined and serious. "I'm not moving until this is all sorted out."

I backed myself further into the tree when I saw Anthony get a hold of the collar on the man's shirt and get ready to hit him. The man stood with a blank expression, he wasn't afraid at all. But I was.

For him.

The man looked over at me for only a second before turning back to Anthony. But from that one split second, I could see he _was_ afraid, he was terrified! But there was something else there too but I didn't know what it was. He looked at me again and I saw it. He wanted me to run, he was _pleading_ for me to run, but I wouldn't.

I stood there for what felt like hours before I _did_ eventually run. I know what you're thinking, but I wasn't running away because I was being a coward. I was running to get help from someone, anyone really.

I ran down the path looking for someone who either worked at the park or a police officer who I hoped would just happen to be walking past. I stopped and turned around and I could Anthony had had him pinned against the tree I had been moment before and he threw a heavy punch to him. I was pretty far away when that happened, but I could hear the sound the impact made and I winced.

I turned around to start running again, but someone had run over towards me. He seemed about the same age as me. He was quite tall and slender, really pale and he had jet black hair which was slicked back and his eyes were huge and seemed nearly black. He wore a dark blue t-shirt with black jeans and black shoes.

It seemed as if he had seen the fight and saw me running too. He stopped a few metres away from me and bent over, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "I saw ...you running ...from there," He pointed at Anthony and the man who stood up for me. "W-were you running ...away?"

"No ...well, yes, but I ran to get help."

He smiled at me before straightening himself up. "Well... I'm here to help."

I let out a sigh of relief, but then I took another look at the guy, and compared to Anthony, he was like a _stick_. But he was the only person I found who wanted to help.

We started running back and by the time we got there, the man wearing green had a bleeding nose, a black eye, and had bruises all over his face. I felt terrible that he had gone through all this for me; I really didn't deserve his help. And he really didn't deserve this.

Anthony turned around to face me. I looked beside me and saw that the guy who came to help me had disappeared. I was a little surprised at first, that is until I heard a large thud on the ground in front of me. I turned and saw Anthony passed out in the dirt and the two men standing side-by-side.

I looked at each of them one at a time in complete shock. The man in the blue shirt helped the wounded man to sit down on the park bench only a few feet away. He laid down on his side and clutched at his stomach in pain. Anthony seemed to had struck him a few times in the stomach.

I felt a pang of guilt seeing this guy like this, knowing it was my fault.

"I'm sorry."

He looked up at me and he had seemed confused. "W-what do you mean?" he said.

I knelt down in front of him. "You didn't have to fight him, I...I could have handled it." Even when I said that, I knew it was a lie. There was no way I could have handled him. And I think they both knew it too.

He moved his hand away from his stomach and placed it on my shoulder. "Listen...kid...he was gonna hurt you, and I'm not okay with that. You shouldn't let people control you like that. It's wrong." He had also called me 'kid' too. But coming from him it felt normal. From Anthony...it just didn't seem right.

"Then why didn't _you_ fight back?" He froze for a moment, he didn't have a response. His hand flew back to his stomach and he made a sound that didn't sound at all human. I looked down at Anthony lying in the dirt unconscious, then up at the guy in blue who was leaning his back onto the tree behind him. "H-how did you...?" I trailed off looking up at him, then down to Anthony.

"Pressure point." He said. He held up two fingers and gently tapped his own neck. "He's fine, he be out for a few hours though."

"Thanks." He nodded at me and I turned back to the wounded man in front of me.

"W-why was he t-trying to hit you?" He asked. "H-how do you know him?"

"He...he is dating my mother," I told them. They both seemed shocked and a little startled. "M-my mother is ill and in the hospital over there," I pointed to the large building behind them. "I walked in on them kissing and I stormed out. He walked out after me and I told him to fuck off... and he hit me."

"I saw that last part." He said. "But, then I saw you hit him back. You were trying so hard not to show you were scared. But I saw straight through that." He put his hand on my shoulder again, and he seemed...proud? "You were pretty brave kid." That one moment of happiness was cut short when he began coughing wildly. I looked up to the boy in blue who walked over to him and carefully helped him sit up.

I got up and he swung his arms over both mine and the other guy's shoulder and we got him up. We walked to the front doors of the hospital. Multiple Doctors and Nurses came and they took him off on a hospital bed and he disappeared into the corridors.

I stood beside the guy in blue and I thought I should at least know who he was. I turned to face him, but he was gone. He just...vanished. I turned in a full circle trying to spot him, but it was to no use. He was gone.

I walked back down the halls and back into Mum's ward. And all I can say is...she wasn't happy when she saw the swollen bruise on my face.

 **Hope you like it. I've been working on this story for a while now and I finally finished the first chapter. Did any of you guys guess who the two mystery people were? That bit wasn't actually intended but I wanted to have some fun.**

 **Hope you like it. Please tell me if you do, I've been really worried about this one. Open to any ideas/suggestions. Please, R &R.**


	2. It Could Be Worse

**Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

 **I don't own GLTAS but I wish I did.**

Monday, May 25 2015,

So people _are_ reading this. Hmm, okay. I guess that just makes this a whole lot harder then. Sigh. Heh, I didn't know it wrote down when I sighed. Did it do that in the last message? That's really weird. Oh well. Anyway, after that guy disappeared and I walked in to see Mum, we talked about what happened. I left out the part about Anthony being knocked out, and the part about him hitting me, and the part about me hitting him. I just told her we talked, which _was_ true. We did talk... _before_ he punched me.

She asked me where he was and I said he went home, wanted to let us have some time to talk. Honestly, I don't know what happened to him after I came in. I think the guy in blue probably helped him or something; he seemed like the type of person who'd do that. I dunno.

I told her I got the bruise from hitting a low hanging branch in the park. She seemed suspicious about it at first but shook it off. I was relieved at that.

We talked for awhile and it felt great. We talked about school, about work, about treatments. The doctors said she'd be out in a few days, give her some more medicine and she'd be fine.

She said she was planning for me to move schools too. And I was completely fine with that. We decided that Oa Academy seemed like the best idea, I agreed to anything just so I could get away from Volkreg Private School. Though the only person I'd miss was Ilana. We could've maybe talked after school; I could've possibly asked her out.

After a few hours of talking, I walked out and bought her a ticket to watch the T.V. I don't know if all hospitals do that, but you have to buy a ticket to watch T.V in the hospital. But they only last for a few hours. A few times when I was there before, the T.V would turn off half way through a show and I'd have to get up and buy another ticket. It's very annoying.

We surfed through the channels until we found a movie she would play for me when I was little. Lion King, actually. I love that movie. I always felt like I was Simba, a kid who's lost but doesn't understand or really realize why, and Mum was like Rafiki, always knowing what to say, even if it doesn't make sense at first.

We sung quietly to 'The Circle of Life' together, trying not to disturb the other people in the ward. We had watched this movie that many times we knew all the words to every song. And we still get teary when Mufasa dies.

After a while when the movie got to the part where Simba was walking up Pride Rock in the rain after beating Scar, I turned to see Mum had fallen asleep. I took hold of her hand and stood up. I leant over and kissed her atop her head before letting go and walking out of her ward. I checked the time on my phone and found it was 1:57am and I ran out of the hospital to the nearest bus stop. I didn't plan to stay that late but I had lost track of time.

I checked the bus timetable and the last one was in 5 minutes. Relieved, I sat down and pulled my phone case off and pulled out my bus pass. I put my earphone in and listened to my favourite song. I tapped my foot in time with the beat and looked down the lane where the bus would eventually show up.

Once it did, I got on, showed the driver my bus pass and walked past a few people up towards the back of the bus and sat down. I stared out the window, though I couldn't really see anything because it was so dark. The bus stopped occasionally to let other people get on and off. I know, what are these people doing up catching buses at this time of night? Well, morning really.

After about 20 minutes, I pressed the stop button and got up. The bus driver stopped at the nearest bus stop and I got off. I walked down a few streets until I reached my house. It was only a small house, nothing special. I walked up to the front door and checked my pockets. _Shit!_ I couldn't find my keys anywhere. I really didn't have time for this.

I walked around the side of the house and found my bedroom window. I jumped up and tried to pull it open. It really didn't want to move at all. I used all the strength I could muster and I got it to open, but hardly. I slid through but got stuck half way so my legs were hanging outside whilst my chest was resting on the edge of my bed. It was really uncomfortable. I moved around and it really hurt but I finally got through, but too fast so I fell off my bed onto the floor with a thud.

Once I got up I felt a small stinging pain on my hip. I lift up my shirt and amongst my many other scars and bruises, was a small cut given to me from the edge of the window. It didn't bother me very much so I just turned around, set my alarm and went to bed. I didn't worry about changing out of my school uniform because I only had about four hours sleep to get so I just got under the covers and I was out.

-X- - What is this?

My alarm was blaring at me for about half an hour before I realized it. It was 6: 49am. Great! The only problem with that was that is by the time I got ready my bus would be at the stop in 10 minutes. And I live 20 minutes away from the bus stop.

I jumped out of bed and raced into the kitchen. I picked up an apple off the bench, put on my shoes and grabbed my bag. I ran towards the front door when I felt my hip start stinging again. I looked down and saw my _white_ school shirt had blood on it from the cut. I raced back towards the laundry and picked out another shirt. It was covered in grass stains and small drops of blood from two days ago when I got beat up, _again_. I threw it back in the washing basket and raced out the front door. This shirt was gonna have to do for the day.

I ran out the door and closed it behind me. Oh, yeah, and it was pouring down rain. I raced down the street, cut through all the small gaps and alleys, across all the neighbours' gardens, jumped over their flower pots and made to the bus stop. Fortunately I was the only person who goes to this bus stop so no one saw when I tripped over onto the road running at full speed. My shirt was then covered in dirt and gravel. My hands, arms and knees were all scraped and bleeding. That other shirt was starting to look pretty good at that time.

I got up and limped towards the seat at the bus shelter. I pulled out my phone from my pocket. Pulled out the bus pass, and put my earphones in. I scrolled through the songs and picked one of my favourite songs that could help lighten the mood I was in. 'First' by Cold War Kids. It's got a good beat to it and it makes me happy but the meaning is not so much the same. This song is pretty much a pick-me-up song to me. The beginning always seems to make me smile. I can't help but dance a little with the beat. You should listen to it. I think you'd like it.

Not even halfway through the song my bus came. Bus 54. I stood up and walked out and it stopped about a metre away from me and I walked over and got on, showed the driver my pass and sat down near the front. The bus was usually quiet and everyone was too tired to really move around and annoy me which was good. I only sit near the front because up the back is where all the 'cool kids' sit. Yeah, the ones that hit me. But on here, I sit too far away from them to get me; this was my favourite part of the day. As soon as I got off, it just turned to shit.

Once the song finished, it changed and got a little more depressing and angry. 'Kick Me' by Sleeping with Sirens.

 _You don't know shit, you don't shit. . .about me!_

 _You don't know shit! Shit! Shit! Don't know a goddamn thing about me!_

 _Keep looking down on me! I am more than you'll ever be!_

 _Cut me deep but I won't bleed!_

 _Gonna Kick! Kick! Kick me when I'm down!_

My favourite part of this song would have to be the part where it says:

 _So go to hell and tell the devil I'm not that far behind!_

You are so lucky you can't hear me singing this while telling you this. It's just one of those songs for when you're angry and you just want to hit something really, _really_ hard.

After a few more songs, we reached the school. _More like Hell._ As soon as I got off the bus, I turned and speed walked towards the shopping centre. That school was built across a public shopping centre and the workers were fine with the students going there in the mornings before school.

I had about $5.00 to buy lunch. What?! You didn't think that apple was going to help me for the whole day did you?

I walked in the front doors and put my bag down on one of the chairs. They make you put your bags outside so they don't risk anyone from the school shoplifting. I walked in and mostly just walked around. I usually do this as a way to pass time, but also to avoid everyone else. I headed toward one of the aisles when I saw Ilana. Did I forget to mention I had a big crush on her?

She was walking in my direction with one of her friends and I spun around and sped off to another aisle. Only, she walked down that same aisle moments later.

"Hello, Razer," she always seemed so happy all the time. She only spoke to me whenever we crossed paths. That never really happened though. We never spoke any other time. Only at those moments. I always thought it was out of pity. But I think she knew I liked her.

"H-hey," I walked faster and continued down the aisle trying to hide my growing blush.

"What are doing?" she and her friend began following me as I picked out my lunch.

"Getting food."

"Hmm." They walked past me in silence and her friend looked as if she was about to explode. After she walked further away from me, I heard her giggling and I saw her blushing. She looked over to me for a split second before I turned away. I headed towards the check-out and paid for my stuff them walked back to school. Ilana of course walked back with her friends, and I walked alone.

I walked the long way back to school and put my earphones in. I like playing my music loud to block out everything around me. I doesn't help that my type of music is loud as it is.

Once I reached the front gates, I walked in and the bell rang. The worst day of my life had started... _again_. I got beaten, I got shoved, I got told off by teachers and I got a bad mark on my maths test. 19 out of 40. Mum wasn't gonna be happy about that at all.

The final bell rang at 2:30 and I ran out of there as fast as I could. Well, limped out of there as fast as I could. I waited for the bus which took me straight to the hospital. I didn't bother going back home to get ready first. I wanted to see her as soon as I could.

That day was pretty much my breaking point. I had called her during my break after I got hit pretty badly. I couldn't hide my tears during the call and all I wanted to do was run straight to her. She was the only person who cared. I told her how much I hated it there. I hated everyone, hated everything. I just wanted to leave this hell as soon as I could.

The bus came and I got on and walked straight to the back. I rest my back against the window and curled up into a ball in my seat with my music and tried so hard not to cry. No one else from my school was on the bus with me so I didn't have to worry as much. But still...there were other people who didn't want to see a miserable boy crying on the bus.

After a few minutes, I pressed the stop button and got off the bus. I limped into the hospital, still trying to keep it together. But the closer I got to her ward, the harder it got.

I walked in, and as soon as I saw her, I lost it. I completely broke down and I ran to her. She held her arms out the best she could from lying down in her bed and I fell into her embrace. I buried my head in her shoulder and sobbed like crazy.

"I hate it! I hate it _so_ much!"

She just held me as I wept. We didn't say anything else after that, she continued trying to comfort me as I fell apart.

After what felt like hours, I finally calmed myself down, but I stayed where I was. I didn't want to move at all. I didn't have the strength to. We stayed there for awhile before she pulled my face up to her. She studied all the scratches and bruises I had gotten and I could see how much it hurt her seeing me like this. I hated it when she looked at me like that. I always felt so weak and so useless.

"Razer," she started. I could hear her voice shaking slightly. "When I get out this afternoon, let's go see if we can get you enrolled into Oa Academy...does that sound like a good idea?" She was getting out, and I was going to a new school. That was the happiest I ever felt in a long time. I nodded with a small smile and rest my head on her shoulder again and she continued rubbing my back.

We stayed like that until the doctors came in half an hour later and said she was good to go. They gave her a wheel chair in case she wasn't strong enough to walk and I pushed her until we got outside where I helped her get in the car. We had made a plan when this all started that we would leave her car in the hospital car park so we wouldn't have to worry about calling too many people or planning bus times. She was still weak, but was well enough to drive.

"You know, next year I'll be getting my licence...what if I got some early practice right now?" I said half joking, half serious as I handed her the car keys. She just laughed. "How about...no,"

"Fine," She started the engine and pulled out of the parking spot. "But I'm driving on the way back from Oa Academy,"

"No you're not,"

"When can I drive then?"

"When you turn sixteen, just like everybody else your age, and you're _not_ gonna be driving _my_ car _anywhere_."

" _Why not_?" I exclaimed.

"Because knowing you," She gave me a pointed look. "You will probably speed at a million miles an hour and give me a goddamn heart attack!"

I laughed. "Mum, what on Earth gave such an idea that I, your son, would do that?" She just gave me the look of 'you're kidding, right?' I smiled at her and she turned away, shaking her head, before driving out of the car park and onto the main road.

We drove for about half an hour before we got to the front gates of Oa Academy, or, O.A, kind of ironic huh?

We parked the car closest to the front office and got out. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited, I was literally trying not to start jumping up and down. But that little flame of happiness was immediately stamped out and my smile instantly dropped when I saw the last person I was expecting.

Anthony.

He was waiting in front of the office leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He seemed really pissed off, and when he spotted me, his frown deepened. But once he spotted Mum, his frown instantly turned into a small smile. He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to us.

"Hello," He stared with an overly happy tone. "This is definitely a nice surprise," his gaze was locked on me the entire time and I felt so little and weak.

"Anthony?" Mum's voice rang out. She got out of the car and leaned over the roof while I busied myself with getting the wheelchair out of the boot. "What are you doing here?" She sounded so happy. If only she really knew him.

"I was gonna ask _you_ the same thing," He also leaned over onto the car. "My kids are here for an afternoon detention," Heh, you should have seem my reaction when he of all people said he had kids. I mouthed the word ' _WHAT?!_ ' to the boot just before I got up and pulled the wheelchair out. I closed the boot and put it out so Mum could sit. The entire time I tried not to look at Anthony when I felt his eyes boring holes in the side of my head. That word doesn't look right. Sorry, break from the story but boring isn't the right term when you say that is it? Probably is but it just doesn't look right.

Anyway, I pushed her up to the office doors and Anthony was trying to show off and opened the door for us. I still didn't look up at him as we got into the office and fell into an awkward silence. I studied all the pictures hanging in the room and saw the guy in green that saved me. Who was in hospital because of me. He was holding a trophy along with a much bigger guy, both wearing football uniforms. Great! I got a football player put in hospital and could risk him ever playing again. They both had large grins on their faces and they looked like the happiest people I'd ever seen!

"Hey, Razor," Anthony purposely said my name wrong to irritate me. It worked. "Where did you get that bruise from?"

"Which one?" I asked, although I knew which one he was talking about. He smirked.

*The one on your jaw,"

"Oh, this?" I rub the sore that he himself had given me. "I hit a low hanging branch. After you left, remember?" I smirked as he became enraged. He was about to say something, but an elder man came out with two young kids standing behind him. He was quite a scrawny man, but had a really big head. He was bald except on the lower parts of his head, they seemed to stick up as if they were static. He seemed a little too well dressed to be working at a school, wearing a tuxedo and a pair of small square glasses covering him green eyes. He seemed like a small unintimidating person, but he also seemed like he was really pissed off. All the time judging by the frown lines covering his face.

"Anthony," His voice was stronger and quite powering. That was something I definitely wasn't expecting.

"Appa," He replied, his voice was laced in venom.

"Your children have been relieved my Sayd." His two children walked out from behind him. Yeah, I know, _two_! "I suggest you try to keep them away from any further trouble, I do _not_ want this behaviour to continue, or else I will have to take this further than I see fit." The two trudged forward, dragging their feet across the floor.

They seemed to be twins, though boy and girl.

The tallest and the one I presumed to be the oldest was the girl. She had pale skin and long black hair that went down to her waist; a small side fringe covering half her brown, nearly black eyes. She wore a maroon jacket over her school uniform. It was a light blue polo shirt with a dark blue and red chequered skirt that was _way_ too short that her jacket was longer by an inch. She wore ripped stocking and black leather boots.

The other one beside her was a lot shorter, like, elbows height short. He was tiny and really chubby too. He also had pale skin, short black hair and he wore a black jumper over his blue polo shirt and khaki pants which were ripped and torn. He was covered in dirt and he wore the biggest frown I had ever seen. He had these boot sorts of shoes which were caked with mud. They had left his footprints behind him and that Appa guy did _not_ look happy about that.

They both walked over towards Anthony and turned and faced me. They seemed to be studying me like I was them. I still had the gravel covered shirt on, and now it was covered in blood. My face was a mix of red and purple thanks to my bruises and my eyes were still puffy from crying. Honestly, I think I looked worse than they did.

Anthony took hold of each their shoulders and I saw them flinch. Obviously they knew they were going to be in more trouble when they got home. They probably wouldn't even make it to the car.

Appa then looked at me, and then down to mum. He studied us both for awhile before speaking. "Follow me, please." He then turned and headed toward his private office. I pushed mum to follow after him, but not before sticking up my middle finger at Anthony while walking away. I knew he saw me when I heard him make a grunt sort of noise. I smirked and continued walking, and I was thankful mum couldn't see me.

We reached his office and after I set mum next to a spare chair, I took a seat. It was awkward for awhile and it had a really weird smell. Like, it was. . .too clean. His office was only small, just a wooden desk covered in files and a laptop. There was a leather office chair and massive cupboards behind him.

He took a seat in his chair and it kind of reminded me of those movies where the person swivels around in his chair and does the whole "I've been expecting you," sort of thing.

He continued studying us for a few more minutes before he started talking again.

-X-

The 'interview' if that's what you want to call it, went really well I think. He asked all the obviously questions and I think I answered then well. He said he call us in a few weeks once they had gotten all the paper work done and had everything checked. I was really excited. I was really hoping that I would be accepted into Oa Academy and that they would call back to tell me when I was starting. The only problem with waiting meant I still had to stay at Volkreg Private School. So I guess it was still going to be hell for the next few weeks.

I'd just have to stay strong.

 **Apologies for Razer's mental breakdown. Trust me; there are more of those to come. And this one is nothing compared to one that's coming later on. Get a tissue box ready, you have been warned!**

 **I can't believe I managed to make this chapter somewhat happy! I didn't mean to but I've been reading too many Young Justice Fanfics lately and Robin's happy vibe has gotten to me. I've been feeling the aster!**

 **Hope you liked it.** **Open to any ideas/suggestions. Please, R &R.**


	3. Firsts

**Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

 **I don't own GLTAS but I wish I did.**

 **.**

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

.

Nothing else really happened in the next few months after that last message. O.A hadn't gotten back to me like they said, so I was still stuck in that stupid school for awhile.

Anthony had somehow figured out where we lived and stared coming over almost every day, and sometimes he brought his kids. You can imagine my face when I first opened the door to see them standing there. Anthony was always there even before I got back from school. I don't think he has a job . . . or even a life. He even offered to drive me to and from school! There was no way in hell I was getting in a car with him unless I absolutely had to.

Mum was still sick though, it wasn't getting worse, but it wasn't getting better either. She was always resting in her room, either watching T.V or reading a book . . . or talking to Anthony over the phone or in person.

I did all the jobs around the house and I took care of her. If course, Anthony thought I should become his slave and started trying to make me do everything for him, and since Mum thought I was being rude to him when I said no, I had to for awhile.

School hadn't changed much. I still git beaten and still didn't talk to anyone except Ilana. We talked a lot more than we usually did and sometimes I sat with her in classes or at breaks. After spending some more time with her, the others who beat me up started to stop. Not entirely, but still . . . they stopped.

The bruises slowly disappeared and the limping had stopped. The pain became less . . . painful, and there was something else that hurt at the pit of my stomach. It was the butterflies growing every time I was with Ilana. I couldn't help how much I liked her, and I think she liked me too.

Remember in my first message when she came and rescued me from getting beat up? Well, apparently her friend found my phone on the ground and Ilana saved my number into her contacts after she left me in the med-room. Obviously it must have fallen out of my pocket when I got hit. She took it home with her and kind of went through my stuff. I didn't have a password and it didn't bother me after she gave it back and told me what she did the next day. I never spend any time on my phone anyway so there was nothing interesting on there. That's probably why I didn't notice it was gone in the first place.

She said she hid some secret messages on there that I had to find. I _did_ go looking for them. I couldn't find them. I must have found them but not realized it because whenever I was on my phone with her she would start grinning.

We texted sometimes, but it was mostly asking what class we had next or her asking me where I was if she couldn't find me. It felt good that I actually had a friend. And I didn't feel like I was a burden to her like I did when I first started talking to her.

After a few week, some people looked at up funny. Some people asked if we were a couple too. We never really knew how to answer that when we were asked. Because it wasn't a no, but I wasn't a yes either.

That kind of went on for awhile before I finally got the courage to ask her what I always wanted to right from the start.

I walked up to her during one of our breaks after we had just finished English and I took hold of one of her hands. She looked at me strangely for a few seconds before blushing and turning away.

"Ilana," I started, I was rubbing the back of my neck and looking down to my feet. "I was . . . wondering if you want to maybe . . . if maybe we could . . . you would want to maybe . . . uhh . . . go out with . . . me?" I mumbled the last part and she started giggling and I felt really embarrassed and scared she would laugh and reject me, but then she pulled my face up to look at her and she was smirking at me.

"Does this answer your question?" She cupped the side of my face then she kissed me on the cheek. I stood there frozen with wide eyes until she pulled away a second later. She blushed and looked away, but her hand still lingered on my cheek.

I stayed there, frozen before coming back from my shocked state and pulled her face up to look at me, smirking at her. "So is that a yes then?"

She giggled again. "Yes." Then she hugged me. It was kind of awkward at first but I hugged her back. It was still awkward but we'd get used to it. I could feel more then see her smile into my chest, and that made me smile, something I hadn't done in a long time.

People made whistling noises and I heard someone take a photo which was weird but we ignored them. We broke apart after several minutes and I took hold of her hand, we smiled at each other and the bell rang for our next class. We turned and walked to Science, still holding hands.

We walked through the halls to our classroom and most of the people who beat me where looking at us and they seemed shocked. I just gave them a smug look before walking past them. They knew they wouldn't be able to beat me up if someone would be sticking up for me, they would have to lay off a bit. I knew I would still get beat up, but at least I had a friend who cared now, a _girlfriend_ who cared actually.

We walked into our class and Ilana's friend was gawking at us. Her jaw had nearly hit the floor when she saw us holding hands. She had been trying to get us together for awhile now, and it worked. She was so happy she actually started jumping up and down in her seat.

When we sat down together behind she immediately spun around in her chair with a big grin on her face. " _Sooo_ , what's going on _here_?"

"Razer finally asked me out," Ilana turned to face me. "It was about time."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean 'About time'?"

She laughed. "Really? I've been waiting for months now."

"I didn't know you liked me."

"Couldn't you see the messages I left you?"

I pulled out my phone. "You know I'm not good with finding your hidden messages."

"I wasn't talking about those messages, Razer,"

I looked up at her for a few seconds before having a mental click. I remembered a few moments over the time I had spent with her where she had said something and I wasn't sure if she was flirting or not. Now that I had the chance to really think about it, i felt like such an idiot for not seeing it before. I actually smacked myself on the head after it all came together.

"Oh. Heh, I'm an idiot then aren't I?"

She smiled and ran her thumb over my hand she was holding. "It's still too soon to say anything just yet."

"I . . . y-you . . . " I had no response. Our teacher walked in before I had the chance to say anything back. She smiled at me and turned her attention to Sir, who was writing down notes on the board for us to copy.

It kind of went on like that for a few more months before things went a little further than hugging and holding hands. Calm down! Nothing like what you might be thinking. We weren't planning on going that far so soon, Geez.

It was a Saturday, I think, during our end of year school holidays and we were walking through the park outside the hospital. Yeah, the same one where I got punched in the face by Anthony. I had called her the night before and we talked about meeting up somewhere. We hadn't seen each other for about three weeks and I was getting pretty bored of sitting in a house with Anthony all day so I called her. We decided a plan and here we were. We were holding hands and just walking around. We didn't have anything else to do and there wasn't anywhere else we could go. There were no movies that looked any good either.

We talked for awhile and it was nice. It felt like I was trapped in my house for so long and it was starting to get to me. I was so relieved when Ilana said she wasn't doing anything when I had called her.

After a few hours of walking around, we sat down under a big tree, the roots where really large and stuck up high out of the ground, making it a good place to sit. We sat on an angle so we were half lying down half sitting up. I had my arm around her waist and she was leaning on me with her head resting on my shoulder. We were just looking around; just enjoy the peace until I saw the park bench where I was sitting when that whole incident with Anthony and the guy in green happened. I flinched when I thought about that guy. He would probably out of hospital by now. But still, I felt _really_ bad for him.

Ilana had felt me flinch and looked up at me. I was completely focused on the seat to pay any attention when she said my name. She took hold of my free hand and then I looked at her. She seemed worried. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I looked back up to that spot. "Just, remembering some things."

"What kind of things?"

I sighed internally. I hadn't planned on telling her about the incident . . . at all. "Unimportant things."

She didn't seem convinced. She let go of my hand and cupped my cheek to turn my head to face her. She had a small frown on her face and I hated it when she frowned, she had the most beautiful face when she was happy. "Obviously it is _not_ unimportant if it is bothering you, what is it?

"It's nothing worth worrying about; trust me, it's fine."

"Razer,"

"It's _fine_." I didn't mean for it to sound so mean, but it must have sounded awful because her frown deepened and her hand dropped from my cheek. She looked away and folded her arms. I had screwed up. I had to fix it. "Ilana I . . . I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

She sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"Ilana," I pulled her chin up so she was looking at me. "It _does_ matter if it means I have upset you. I'm sorry; I just don't want you to worry about me."

Her frown disappeared, which was great, but her expression turned sad, which was terrible. "Razer, it's my job to worry about you because I care, I care about you because I-" she stopped herself.

I frowned and tilted my head slightly. "You what?" I asked.

She swallowed before speaking again. "Because I . . . I love you. I love you Razer." I wasn't expecting that. Not at all. She sat up and moved around until she was sitting across me and she cupped both my cheeks in her hands and studied my face. I remember her telling me later that my face went really pale. And that was saying something, because I am really pale, _all_ the _time_.

My hands dropped into my lap and I was gaping at her. That was the first time she said she loved me. "I . . . I l-love you too Ilana."

She smiled and I felt my heart swell. She had the most beautiful smile and I loved it, and I loved _her_. She then leant forward, and she kissed me. That was also something I was not expecting. Not at all. Her arms moved around my neck and she ran her fingers through my hair and I kind of made a purring noise that surprised us both. It was a little awkward because it was our first kiss but after a few seconds, we got it to work. I lifted my hands off my lap and wrapped them around her waist and pulled her closer to me. Well, as close to me as I could.

We kissed for only a few minutes, but it felt like eternity. And I wish it could have stayed that way forever. But unfortunately, we both needed to breathe. We broke apart and we stared at each other with wide eyes for several minutes while gasping for air. Apparently Ilana hadn't planned on kissing me so she was just as shocked as I was. We didn't do anything else but stare at each other for a few minutes before actually breaking apart. Meaning, me moving my arms away from her waist and her arms moving away from my neck. We were both blushing deeply and I took hold of her hand.

We stood up together and I pulled her into a tight hug. Her arms wrapped around my neck again and I buried my face in her neck. I was grinning like an idiot. I was so happy and I don't even understand why, but I started laughing, and I think that got her worried. It got me worried too. She pulled back and I think she thought I was crying because it was so muffled in her shirt. She had never actually heard me laugh before. Well, she had, but not as much as this, and I think _that's_ what got her worried. She gave me a weird look before laughing herself. I think she was just confused but laughed nonetheless.

I let go and we started walking again. We were holding hands and I think that kiss had put me in the happiest mood I've ever been in. I was actually tempted to start skipping with her and start dancing, but I stopped myself, barely though.

I was in such a great mood that day that after Ilana went home and I got back to my house, I actually said hello to Anthony! And I wasn't being rude or sarcastic; I _actually_ walked up to him and said hello with a big grin on his face. He seemed stumped by it but said hello anyway. I walked-well, skipped into Mum's room where she was resting and I jumped on her bed, landing beside her.

"Hello Mother!" Shocked couldn't even describe her reaction when I had woken her up by jumping on her bed.

"H-hello Razer, what's got you in such a good mood? I haven't seen you this happy since . . . well before you started high school. Did O.A finally call you?" I'll admit that last part dampened the happiness, but only a small part of it. I shook my head but still had the goofy grin on my face.

"You remember Ilana, right?" She nodded and my grin grew bigger than I thought it possibly could. "Well," I swear I turned into a sixteen year old girl for a moment. "We kinda might have . . . kissed."

Then she started grinning too. "Really?" I nodded again. "Oh Razer, that's wonderful! Come here!" She held out her arms and I shuffled over and hugged her tightly. Believe it or not, she had been hoping for us to kiss for awhile. She still hadn't met Ilana, but I had told her pretty much everything about here. She's seen photos of her, and I've tried to get them to meet. I've met Ilana's parents and she wanted to meet Mum but hadn't had the chance yet.

I then jumped up and did a twirl around the room. She started laughing at how much I was acting like a fairy-tale princess about it.

Sigh. I'm actually really embarrassed about telling you that part, but my roommate dared me. I'll let you guess who it was. If I didn't do this I would have to wear his girlfriend's clothes. She loves wearing pink. And skirts. Just thinking about it is just . . . bleeh!

Okay, so, I started twirling around in Mum's room and it was the happiest I'd felt in a really, really long time. I skipped out of her room and into the kitchen where Anthony was making toast, I punched his arm playfully, and I mean I was actually being playful. Every other time it was to hurt him, but this time I was _actually_ playing. He was really confused and I just kept grinning at him. I continued to skip past him until I got to my room. I swung the door open and jumped onto my double bed. I star-fished out and started laughing agai-

Giggling.

What the?

Giggling.

What is making that . . . JORDAN!

"Haha! I got that all on tape Ray! I got your little dance you just did and all those hand gestures too! Hehehe, this is _gold_! I'm showing this to _everyone_!"

Dammit! Get out of my room! There's a lock on that door for a reason!

"Locks don't work unless the door is closed idiot!"

Delete that thing now!

"Yeah, yeah, hang on. I'll delete it as soon as I send it to everyone, haha!"

Thud.

"Oh _shit_!"

JORDAN!

Slam.

Boom.

I swear I'm gonna-

Slam.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Heh, sorry. Ow. That was my roommate, the same one who dared me to tell you about my dancing. He loves to irritate me, _a lot_. Don't worry, I deleted the video . . . and might have accidentally broken his phone too. He doesn't know that just yet.

"RAZER!"

 _Shit!_

"Razer, you are _sooo_ buying me a new phone!"

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Okay, well I'm gonna go hide now before he reaches the top of the stairs and kills me. Don't be surprised if this is my last message.

Bye.

 **Well, here you go. Another chapter which I hope you liked.**

 **Again, I can't believe I managed to make this chapter somewhat happy!That's going to be something that doesn't happen often soo . . . yeah.  
**

 **Hope you liked it. **Open to any ideas/suggestions. Please, R &R.****


	4. You're Missing From Me

**Hi Guys. Small warning, this chapter is very depressing; if you are in a good mood right now DON'T read it. It will crush that mood into dust.**

 **I probably should have said this at the start but, if anyone is not comfortable reading about what cancer can do, do not feel you have to read this, and I am here if anyone would want to talk about it. You have no idea how much I understand what Razer is going through with his Mother.**

 **Please imagine Razer's voice breaking when you read this, trust me: it makes you feel a lot more emotions.**

 **Another warning, this chapter does mention self-harm.**

 **Well. Here you go.**

 **I don't own GLTAS but I wish I did.**

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

"Razer . . . are you sure you want me to leave you here to do this?"

Y-yeah, I need to do this alone . . . they . . . they need to know what happened . . . I need to do this . . . for myself.

"I do not want to leave you here to do this alone. Especially since today is . . . please, just let me stay here with you while you do this, I want to make sure you will be alright."

Please Aya, I have to do this alone. I can't promise you that I will be alright, but I need you to let me do this . . . _please_.

Sigh. "I do not want to but I guess I have no other choice . . . I will be out in the living room if you need me, okay?"

 **. . .**

"Okay."

Thud. Thud. Thud. Click.

. . .

Sigh.

Sniff. Hey . . . Sniff. Sorry . . . I don't like this thing. I hate that this thing can sound out that I'm crying. Sigh. Well . . . today is the three year anniversary since . . . everything went so wrong.

Sob.

Dammit! Stupid fucking thing!

Slam.

Sigh. S-sorry. I'll try and stay calm for as long as I can but . . . It's not going to be easy . . . Sniff.

Uh . . . this all happened about a year after my last message so . . . some things may have changed. Well . . . there is one good thing that happened that day. I finally got the call . . . from O.A. . . . remember that? I got accepted, I was finally leaving that school. It sucks that that is the only good thing I can tell you, because everything after that just went so wrong so _fast_.

Sob.

Mum's condition got worse. _A lot worse_. She was put on stronger medications, had to have more tests and she had to stay at the hospital now. I still went to visit her every day, and sometimes Ilana would come with me. It saddened me how weak she was there. She could barely speak and it took nearly all her strength to keep her eyes open. We still talked, but the conversations never last longer than a few minutes before she would have to rest again.

Anthony moved into our house and brought his two children, Zillious and Bleez, remember them? Sniff. They slept in the lounge room and Anthony slept in Mum's room. I hated that arrangement but its how it had to work. Speaking of work, Anthony made me get a job. Meaning I got less time to spent with Mum and less time to be with Ilana. I had got a job at a cafe called Shard. It's a really shit cafe and everyone who works there has serious anger problems. Sniff . . . worse than me.

They treated me like shit and they were just as bad as the people at school. Sniff. The bruises got worse and the limping had started again. I would always have to take out the garbage and/or do the dishes or they'd beat me up. I always hated school but _this_ ; this was starting to look _a lot_ worse.

The worst day, and I mean the _worst day_ I ever had was when Ilana called me and asked to come in one day when it was my shift. It doesn't sound like it would be such a bad thing, but it really, really was. She wanted to come in during our busiest hour and my boss Veon refused when I asked him and told me I had to go back to work . . . Oh, remember that _friend_ of Anthony's that set his house on fire and he got that burn mark on his face? Yeah, he's that friend. That's how I got the job so easy. Sniff.

Ilana didn't live far away, so she was able to walk over. It would only take her twenty minutes to get there. I didn't like her walking here by herself. That may sound like I was being _really_ protective just then, but I always worried something might happen to her if I wasn't there.

Sob.

. . .

It had been an hour and a half since she told me she was on her way and I started panicking. I sped through work until I was let go and I ran in the direction of her house. I called her multiple times, but they all went straight to voicemail. Usually Ilana would call me if she was going to be late or changed her mind. I knew when I had gotten no texts or missed calls from her that something wasn't right.

I raced to her front door and rang the door bell, hoping Ilana would answer. Her sister answered instead and she told me she left to come and meet me. I started panicking again and I ran back to work as fast as I could. I searched down every street trying to find her . . . but it was no use.

I tried calling her again, and this time she answered.

"Razer?"

"Ilana, where are you?'

I'm . . . I'm b-back at your house." She sounded so scared and I could hear her voice shaking. I felt my heart drop when I heard her on the verge of crying.

"How did you get there? What's wrong?"

"J-just . . . hurry back . . . _please_. I love you"

"Don't worry; I'll come back for you. I love you too." I then hung up and raced to my car. I _knew_ something was wrong. I hate that I knew something was going to happen, that I knew something was so terribly wrong.

Sob.

Sorry, sorry. This part is going to be really hard so just . . . be patient . . . _please_? I might need to take a break mid way so, _I'm sorry_.

Sob.

I ignored the fact that Veon had to be in the car with me since I was still on my L's and I drove as fast as I could back to my house which took about half an hour before I got there.

Sobbing.

I-I ran in the door and no one was home. I called out h-her name and she . . . she d-didn't answer. I heard a gunshot and something smash coming from my bedroom. I started panicking and raced to my room. My window was smashed and . . . Ilana was lying on the floor and she . . . she was . . .

Sobbing.

I dropped to my knees and I held her head so it could rest on my lap. I tried . . . _so hard_ to wake her up but . . .

Sob. S-sorry. But I can't do this. I . . . I can't do this. I'm sorry. Sob. Where is the stop button on this thing? . . . Dammit! Where is it?

Slam.

Ah! _Stupid! Stupid!_

Sobbing.

I _h-hate_ this!

Sobbing.

I'm sorry. I tried to stay calm, I thought I could do this, but I can't. I can't do this! I can't talk about her. I can't talk about her like that. It hurts! I want you to know what happened, but it hurts so much. It's been three years. _Three fucking years!_ And it still hurts as much as it did that day. I can't even skip this part because after that, it only gets worse . . . it gets _so_ much worse.

Sigh.

. . .

. . .

Okay . . .

I tried shaking her to make her wake up but nothing was happening. I pulled her closer to me and I held her so tight. Her had blood got onto my hands and I started shaking.

"But . . . I came back for you . . . I came back!" I stared at the blood on my hands and I studied the wound. She had been shot . . . right in her heart . . . But it felt like I had been shot there too.

I rest two of my shaking fingers on her throat, hoping for a pulse, hoping for something . . . anything!

Sob.

But there was n-nothing! She was gone.

I cried out _s-so_ much, it was so loud and I didn't care if Anthony would walk in or if his stupid children where here. I heard my cries echoing through my room and I just hoped, prayed that Ilana would hear me and wake up. That she would open her eyes and she would tell me she was fine . . . that everything was going to be okay.

Sob.

But she didn't. She didn't open her eyes. She didn't say a word. Nothing!

My sadness had then turned into something else and I felt something inside me snap. I couldn't feel anything but rage. Pure rage. I was _so_ angry! I was furious that I had left her. I was furious I didn't tell her to wait for me to meet her instead. I was furious I didn't listen when I felt something was wrong. I was furious that she was never going to wake up, that I was never going to see her eyes, I would never see her smile again and it would be my fault. Someone had done this to her when it should have been me ins-stead. This was my fault! I left her alone and someone took her from me! Sob. And someone was going to pay. I didn't care how long it would take to find who did this; I was going to _kill_ them!

I continued to c-cry, but I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't feel the ground beneath my feet, I couldn't feel her body in my arms. I just felt empty. So empty.

After several minutes, I picked her up, and when I stood up, my legs were shaking. Her head rested on my chest and I tried to keep hold of her, but I was shaking terribly.

Sob.

I placed her on my bed and folded her hands over her stomach and kissed her forehead before walking out of there. I pulled out my phone and called everyone. Police. Ambulance. Mum. Her family. Even Anthony. The one person I dread calling the most was her best friend.

Throughout each call I was in tears. My whole body was trembling and my voice was breaking. I was in shock and I couldn't bear walking back into my room where she lay on my bed. She was gone . . . murdered, and I couldn't bring her back to me. I was never going to see her smile. Never see her beautiful green eyes ever again.

Sob.

After I finished the calls, my phone had dropped out of my hands from how much I was shaking. I just stood there, staring into space as tears continued to run down my face. I was in such shock that when the paramedics came I didn't move at all. I was frozen in one spot and I couldn't respond when they tried to speak to me. The only thought going through my mind was that Ilana was gone. The girl I loved was gone forever.

Anthony walked into the house half an hour later and I still hadn't moved. He didn't seem surprised at all. As if he knew about this before I did. As if he were a part of why she was gone. Sniff. He then walked up to me and he hugged me. I was still in too much of a state of shock to realize that he was, and I was still too shocked to realize _I_ was hugging him back.

Sob.

I cried into his shoulder and completely fell into his embrace. I didn't care how much I hated Anthony, I was just so broken. Sniff. So completely and utterly broken.

The police arrived soon after and Anthony let go of me and left. He just walked out past the officers and out the door without saying a word. I didn't know whether to be surprised or angry at him.

One of the officers picked up my phone and tried to hand it back to me but I still wasn't responding. All this movement behind me and I was still in shock. Tears continued down my face, tracing my birthmarks and I could feel my legs about to give way. One of the paramedic must have noticed because they moved me into the living room and made me sit down on one of the lounges. The put my phone on my lap and walked away. Back to where Ilana's body lay in my room.

Sob.

I must have sat there for at least an hour before one of the officers came over to me. I remember he had really big, almost black eyes. He was bald and looked almost like a skeleton. He kind of looked like the guy who was wearing blue in my first message but a lot older. He handed me a glass of water and knelt down in front of me.

"Hey kid," He started. He had a robotic edge in his voice. "How are you feeling?"

I tightened my grip on the glass and I was sure it was going to shatter in my hands. "How do you think?" My voice barely made it out as a whisper, but I knew he could hear the anger within it.

He sighed and placed his hand on my knee. "I know this must be really hard for you, having lost someone you lo-"

I didn't let him finish because I stood up and walked out of the room. "You do know _what_ I feel!"

I slammed the glass onto the bench as I stormed out through the kitchen to the front door. I heard the officer calling out for me to come back but I kept going. I had to get out of the house as soon as I could. It hurt too much.

I raced outside and saw paramedics everywhere. They were all running around and I watched as two of them carried a stretcher up the driveway into the house. I didn't want to be there when they carried out Ilana's body out so I started running. I ran past the ambulance vehicles, past my car and down the street. I ran as fast as I could to the bus shelter and didn't stop until I got there. I wasn't strong enough to drive myself.

Sob.

Once I got there, I sat down behind the shelter and cried. I pressed the heel of my palms into my eyes and clawed my fingers into my hair, my knees pressed to my chest and I wept. I tried to stop but I couldn't. I was hurting so much. The image of her body was haunting me and I couldn't get it out of my head.

I sat there for hours before I heard the ambulance leaving with the sirens of the police cars following behind them. I didn't turn around to see them going, I didn't want to risk seeing Ilana's body in the window. I didn't know how I would handle seeing her like that again.

Sob.

I stumbled to my feet and started walking in the direction of the hospital. I didn't have time to wait for a bus. It hurt, but I didn't care. I couldn't feel anything; I was numb from all the pain in my chest. I couldn't feel my legs dragging across the ground as I continued to cry.

I-I remember, it took about two hours until I reached the hospital and I still couldn't feel the blisters forming on my feet. I limped past the front office area towards Mum's ward and I . . . I . . .

Sob.

I past a room and I s-saw Ilana's body. She was covered in a white sheet with only her face showing. I cried until I started coughing. My throat was really dry and I couldn't stand how much my heart was hurting. I ran away from that room as fast as my body would let me. I ran past the doctors, past other patients and straight to Mum's ward.

Sob.

. . .

I couldn't get in because there were heaps of doctors all surrounding around her bed and they wouldn't let me s-see her. Something else was wrong and I couldn't get to her. She had talked to me on the phone hours ago and I barely noticed how weak her voice was. How I had missed how sick she sounded made my heart drop. Something had happened to her and I feared the worst for what may happen. But I couldn't lose her now . . . n-not when I just lost Ilana.

The doctors were all talking to each other and I couldn't hear what they were saying. I started panicking again. I fell to the ground and pressed my back against the wall. I did the exact same thing back at the bus stop but I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from crying loud enough to draw attention to myself. I tasted blood moments later but I didn't care. I was so afraid of losing Mum. I didn't know if I could live with that.

Sob.

T-twenty minutes later, a doctor came out and told me I could see her with all the time there was left. I didn't understand what he meant until I walked in there. She was lying on her side and she looked like she was in a lot of pain. It hurt me to see her in so much pain, knowing that there was nothing I could do to take it away. She saw me but didn't say anything; it must have hurt too much to speak.

We were both in tears. We were both in pain. Both slowly dying inside. Both hating this very cruel world for making life so goddamn unfair.

She moved her hand slightly and I took hold of it. She closed her eyes and whispered something that I couldn't hear. I hated that I couldn't hear her anymore. She was so weak and so tired.

Heh, I remember when she first started getting too tired to keep her eyes open I would always hold her hand and I started some sort of game. It was, but it wasn't. I would slightly press my fingers into her palm. One by one. Going in one direction before going in the other. Once I finished, she would do it back. It was a silent message that said the same thing every time.

When I did it. _Are you still awake?_

When she did it back. _Yes._

It was also seeing how strong she was and if she still had enough strength. But over time, it got weaker and weaker. I had to strain myself to feel it and the only time I knew when she didn't answer was when I could hear her breathing just that much heavier meaning she was asleep.

Sob.

I pressed my fingers into her palm. One at a time. Following the pattern. I waited for a response, and I choked out a sigh of relief when I felt her do it back. She slightly opened her eye and we just looked at each other. My lip was trembling and I tried to keep my tears from falling. She was doing the same but we both couldn't fight it anymore. We completely fell apart. We've both been through too much and we couldn't fight the pain. We had to go with it.

. . .

Sobbing.

Y-you know what . . .? What I s-said about g-going with the pain? . . . I think M-Mum had the same idea. She fell asleep hours later and so did I. Sniff. And I remember, 11:57pm I woke up and saw her heart rate monitor was whining and it was a flat line. Sob. The doctors raced in moments later and I sat there in shock. Nothing was clicking in my head. I wouldn't let the thought go through my head that she could truly be . . .

Sobbing.

She . . . Sob. I can't say that word. Not about her. I can't bring myself to say it, it just makes it seem so real . . . I don't want it to be _real._ I still can't make myself say it. Sigh. I just hope you know what I'm meaning to be saying, because I can't go any further saying things like that.

Sob.

. . .

Well, a week after . . . everything. There were small funerals for Ilana and Mum. I spoke at both of them, but I didn't cry. I don't know why, but I couldn't bring myself to cry. I was just angry.

Oh, yeah, guess what . . . and this got me furious. Anthony, heh, Anthony the son of a bitch, didn't even go to Mum's funeral. He sat in the car the entire time and he only came _in_ to get me _out_. He drove me home with his kids and disappeared again. I didn't know nor care where he went or what he was really up to. I just felt so broken. I didn't speak, didn't move . . . I couldn't bring myself to do anything. This house didn't feel like _my_ house anymore. It didn't feel . . . _natural_ , like there was something missing. Which there was. Sniff. It just felt like someone else's house.

You know the feeling you get when you go into someone's house and it feels familiar, but it doesn't have any purpose to you? Well . . . it had become _that_ feeling. Anthony's kids sat awkwardly because I was in their room when really, it was the lounge room. I would have happily left them and gone to my room but . . . how could I possibly go back in there? How could I possibly go back into the room where I found Ilana?

My next choice would have been Mum's room but . . . well, it wasn't her room anymore, it was Anthony's now.

So, I had to stay there. Sitting straight up in the lounge, staring at the walls with tears in my eyes. Of course, there were tears . . . but they were silent tears. It hurt. Hurt more than anything I had ever felt. And no one could possibly fix it. No one could _ever_ fill the void they left in my heart. Sniff.

Well.

. . .

At least I was going to O.A soon. I just hoped that it would be better than the hell I've been through . . . and maybe they could heal some of these wounds that had been forming on my wrists over the past few days. They weren't deep, they just helped release some of the anger I had aimed at myself.

It didn't hurt . . . not when I went with the pain.

 **Sorry!**

 **This was** ** _really_** **depressing. But I can't make any promises that they won't all be like this. The next one may be happy, the next one may not. I don't even know yet.**

 **Hope you enjoyed. Sorry if any if you got teary or cried.**

 **Open to any ideas/suggestions.** **Please, Read & Review & have a nice day.**


	5. Oh God

**Only warning: YOU GUYS GET TO FINALLY MEET HAL AND KILOWOG! (Kilowog has a different name though.)**

 **I don't own GLTAS but I wish I did. Or the song. Bring Me the Horizon are an amazing band by the way.**

Oh God . . .

22 August 2015

So . . . sorry about the last message. I know it was depressing and . . . stuff. I'll try not to get that depressed again but . . . I can't promise anything. You can't exactly promise something like that after . . . everything that happened. And trust me, it doesn't get any better.

Sigh.

I finally started at O.A. That was okay . . . excepting the fact that I was late for my first day.

I hadn't been able go into my room since the police had bordered it off as a crime scene so I've forced to stay in the lounge room with Zillious and Bleez, not that I wanted to go back in there, the memory of holding Ilana's body was still too fresh in my mind to go back in there.

Since Zillious and Bleez went to the same school, I was able to wake up with them and get to the bus stop on time. Which is what I thought. I still had my L's, and Anthony refused to drive with me, and I refused to let him in my car. It was Mums last gift to me. So the bus was my only option. The only problem with that was, Anthony drove his kids to school and I caught the bus which came half an hour earlier than my old bus used to, meaning I had to wake up earlier to get to the bus stop on time.

That day, I don't know how, but I had slept in past my alarm and was running around like crazy. My uniform wasn't where I had left it and my bag was nowhere to be found. I ran around the house for what felt like hours before I found them and raced out the door, pulling my red jumper to cover my wrists as I ran down the street

Over the weeks I had off from my old school I had picked up a new sort of . . . hobby. One of Anthony's pocket knives had become an essential item to bring with me for when I needed to . . . you know.

I had missed my bus and had no choice but to catch one of the public buses that came an hour later, and it didn't help that I didn't know exactly where I was going.

The bus was crammed with people heading to work and it took me about half an hour to get to O.A. I had already missed two periods and was really lost. I had to go to the office first and the people there weren't in a very good mood. They told me where to go and I was on my way. Well, not exactly. They only told me the classroom but not how to get there.

After searching down every single hall for nearly the entire timeline of the period, I found where I was supposed to be. F17. The sticker on the door telling me was peeling off. Which made sense why I couldn't find it; I walked past it almost twenty times.

I put my bag on the stand, pulled out my book and pen and opened the door. Everyone was talking, like, screaming at each other, and the teacher seemed to be in a pretty shitty mood. She was a chubby lady with blonde hair and small glasses. Typical movie teacher. She spotted me and yelled at me. "And when did I say you could go outside the classroom?"

I was completely stumped by her question and I took a step back. "S-sorry, but I just got here."

She studied me for a few seconds and something must have clicked. "Oh, you must be that new kid. Razor, is it?" She sounded so tired. And I would be too if I had to teach a class who were pretty much yelling at each other.

"Uh, it's Razer."

"Whatever, find a seat and sit down. Copy these notes off the board and have a good day."

"Umm . . . thanks?" I walked up towards the back where not a lot of people were sitting and took a seat next to the window. No one seemed to have noticed me yet. Good. I opened my book and looked up at the board to copy down the notes. Geography. Great! That's one of my worst subjects. And it seemed as if everyone else felt the same way, even the teacher seemed to be struggling too. What a great first impression of this school.

After writing down all the notes, I studied all the people in the room. There were the quiet ones who were concentrating on doing their work. There were the people who wouldn't stop talking but were actually doing their work. Then there were the ones who didn't even have their books open and were just talking to the people in the class. Most of them had their earphones in and some I could actually hear from where I was sitting.

I decided to pull my phone out and put my earphones in since I was finished and there was nothing to do. I put my music on shuffle and ended up listening to Shadows by Red.

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes at how much the song reminded me of Ilana. Of how much I needed her. How much pain I was in because she wasn't here. I forced myself to block out those thoughts and focus on what was out the window looking over the school oval. Heh, you will never guess who I saw out there doing P.E.

That guy in green.

He was playing a game of baseball and he was batting. I watched him play and I'll admit he's really good. I noticed a slight limp in his run and I immediately felt bad and looked down at my book instead.

After a few more songs, the bell rang for first break and everyone left in a rush. I was the last one out and I just walked around the school, figuring out the school before my next class. I didn't bother talking to anyone, and I avoided running into that guy. I felt too guilty to face him. Though at one point, while running away from him when he nearly spotted me, I raced into the corridors and ran into something, and I was pretty sure it wasn't a wall.

I looked up and saw a big, fairly dark skinned guy who towered over me. He had orange-ish eyes that looked almost red. He was very muscly and quite intimidating. But I'd never admit it. He didn't seem to be in the best of moods, and neither was I. I had already been shoved and pushed around so my temper was starting to show through.

"Oi! Watch where ya goin' ya Poozer!" I'll admit, that was the strangest insult I had ever heard, and given my bad mood, I took it a lot harder than I probably should have.

"Sorry, I will, if you didn't take up so much space this wouldn't have even happened!" Any other day I would have just shrugged it off and walked away, but something about this guy just got me really agitated. And what I said got him really pissed and I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. He picked me up by the collar of my shirt and slammed my back against the wall with my feet hanging inches off the floor.

"What did ya say? I couldn't quite hear ya." By the tone of his voice, I swear he was going to kill me. A part of me wanted him to. Kill me and end this pain.

I tried pushing him off me but it was like pushing a brick wall. He was right in my face and it took nearly all my strength not to gag at his bad breath. He pulled his fist back ready to punch me but stopped when he heard someone calling out, and I swear it was like déjà vu at that point because the person who called out was the one person I was trying to avoid.

The guy in green.

"Kyle! What are you doing?" He called from down the hall. He ran over towards us and he didn't recognize me. Good. "Let the poor kid go!"

 _Kyle_ didn't seem to want to. He turned to look at his friend for a short few seconds, then back at me. He seemed to be considering actually hitting me but instead he shoved me into the wall and let go, making me fall. He glared at me before storming off. The guy turned and watched his friend stalking away before turning his attention to me. He held his hand out to help me up but I ignored it.

"You okay kid?" He seemed genuinely concerned.

"Fine." I answered. I steadied myself up against the wall and started walking away. I didn't get more than a few steps before I felt a hand grip my shoulders to stop me going any further. I turned and glared at him and he just seemed to be studying my face. I tried moving away before he stared to recognize me but it was too late.

"Are you that kid from . . ." He started clicking his finger as he seemed to have had the answer to my identity on the tip of his tongue. "From . . . from . . . aha! You're that kid I helped last year, from that big guy trying to beat you up in the park, right?"

I looked down at my feet and cursed to myself. I pull his hand off my shoulder and turn to walk away. "I wanted to thank you for that . . . I owe you one." I then walk away. I sped off and turned down the halls and out of sight. I heard him calling out to me and I could hear his footsteps coming in the direction I ran but fortunately, the bell rang and I raced to my next class.

I went up the stairs inside the corridors and straight to my classroom. F7. English. Something I was actually good at. Everyone else in my class seemed to have had a personality change since Geography because they were dead silent. Our teacher walked in holding her laptop and sat down at her desk. She was quite short; I would have been taller than her. She had long blonde hair with pale green ends and wore black glasses and a black jumpsuit. Her name is Mrs Green.

She opened her laptop and started talking. I had picked a great time to start here; we were starting 'Shakespeare'. One of the topics I know absolutely nothing about. Perfect!

One good thing was that she was fine with people listening to music in class as long as we have finished our work first. I completed my noted quickly before putting my earphones in and picking a song. Drown by Bring Me the Horizon.

 _What doesn't kill you . . ._

 _Makes you wish you were dead._

 _Got a hole in my soul,_

 _Growing deeper and deeper._

 _And I can't take . . ._

 _One more moment of this silence!_

I got some looks from a few people sitting around me. I figured it was because they could hear my music so I turned it down a little and stared down at my notes in front of me.

 _I'm not okay and it's not alright._

 _Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?_

I started tapping my fingers into the paper with the beat as I look up and study the people sitting around me.

 _Who will fix me now?_

 _Dive in when I'm down?_

 _Save me from myself._

 _Don't. Let. Me. Drown!_

There was a girl I hadn't noticed before; she was sitting just a few rows in front of me she was looking at me. She had both her earphones in and was reading a book. She would look up at me occasionally. I don't think I did anything weird for her to be looking at me. I think it was just the fact that I was the new kid and she had never seen me before.

It went on for awhile. I stared at her and she stared at me. She was quite tall from where she was sitting. She had almost white blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She was pretty, but I didn't let my thoughts go any further than that. I couldn't.

Once the period was over, it was off to the next class. Through the halls on the way to Lab 3 for Science, i saw that guy again. He spotted me and tried to talk to me but I got away fast enough that he couldn't catch me. I may have accidentally tripped a few people in order to get away but at least he couldn't get me.

I finally reached the classroom and I actually enjoyed the lesson. No, I don't know a lot about Science, but the teacher was good. He was a tall, muscly, bald man who I found out to also be a P.E teacher. The same teacher who was out there when the green guy was playing baseball. He was an alright person and actually had a sense of humour, unlike the other teachers.

I had sat near the corner of the room at my own bench and that girl sat at the bench in front of me. We had pretty much continued the staring thing until the bell rang for second break.

Again, I walked around the school for the entire break. Looking around and avoiding running into that guy again. But it was no use. He found me, and he brought his giant friend too. They kind of cornered me. Not exactly, they were walking behind me and the giant, Kyle, grabbed my shoulders and shoved me into the wall. I turned and glared at him. His friend was glaring at him too before turning to me.

"Sorry about him. He doesn't seem to like you very much."

"It's fine. I'm used to it." I turned around and started walking away but again, I was stopped. He gripped my arm and turned me around to face him. He was studying my face again. He had a small frown creasing his brown and his lips were pursed into a flat line.

"What do you mean _you're used to it_?"

I pull my arm out of his grip and take a step back. "Nothing that concerns you."

He stared at me, as if trying to figure something out, but after a few minutes he started smiling. "Why have you been avoiding me? I'm not that scary am I?"

"N-no I . . ." He started laughing and he clapped my shoulder. I was really confused at this and so was Kyle. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and started walking, bringing me with him. He was much taller than me since he was a senior but he wasn't as intimidating as the others. But his friend on the other hand was.

"I think I'm gonna like you kid. Sure you're a little awkward and you have temper, but you're cool."

"Err . . . thanks?" We walked in silence for awhile as we moved through the corridors and I only paid attention to the slight limp in his step, the guilt building in the pit of my stomach. "Sorry."

"Huh?" He turned his head to look at me with a puzzled expression. "What?"

"Sorry. About . . ." I look down and watch our feet moving beneath us.

"What? You're kidding right?" He knew what I was talking about. "That was ages ago. Don't be sorry, kid, really, it's fine."

"Hmm . . ."

" . . . Hey, you said something about your Mum being in hospital, right?" I winced and clenched my eyes shut. "What happened? Is everything okay now? Is she out?" I bit my lip hard and crossed my arms over my chest. _He didn't know._ He must have seen my attempt at holding it together and somehow put two and two together. "Oh, kid . . . I'm so sorry."

"Don't tell anyone." I whispered whilst pushing down the lump forming in my throat. He tightened his grip on my shoulder and I heard him whisper back.

"Not a soul."

I nodded my thanks and we walked in silence until the bell rang. He clapped my back and held his hand out for me to shake. "Hal."

"What?"

"Hal. My name is Hal." I stared down at his hand before shaking it.

"Razer." He smiled and walked away with his friend; he turned around at one point and waved.

"Bye, Razer!" Then he disappeared. I'll admit, he has to be one of the strangest people I have ever met. He was funny, I'll say that much . . . but he's strange.

-X-

The last period was a blur. I wasn't really paying any attention to anything accept my music. Every day went on like that. Occasionally, Hal would find me and try to talk to me. If he couldn't find me I would continue walking around the school or I would sit in a spot where no one could really find me. It was all quite normal like that until about three weeks later.

The bell had rung at the end of last period and I was walking down to my bus stop. I had nearly walked onto my buss when I heard Hal call out my name. I turned and saw he was in his car. He was sitting on the edge of the car window and waving out to me. I saw Kyle sitting in the driver's seat shaking his head. He still didn't like me too much, it didn't bother me, I didn't like him much either.

"Hey, Razer!" Hal yelled out waving his arms around like crazy. I just rolled my eyes at him. "Come here!" They pulled up beside me as I walked over to them and Hal looked at me with an attempted stern expression. "Get in the car."

I opened the back door and sat down in the seat as Hal climbed back through the window and turned around in his seat to look at me. "So, where do you wanna go?"

"What?"

"You don't have anywhere you have to be, do you?"

"N-no."

"Good. So where do you wanna go?"

"I-I don't know." I didn't want to say home because . . . well, Anthony was there and so were his kids. I really don't want to be anywhere near them right now. Hal clapped his hands and turns to look at Kyle.

"Well, you know where to go." Kyle nodded and started driving the car again. I was so confused and I didn't know what to do once they pulled out into the main road. We drove for about forty minutes in silence before Kyle turned down a dirt road. I was worried at first, thinking they were kidnapping me and were driving me somewhere to kill me. Though I'm not sure why that bothered me, dying didn't seem so bad at that point.

We drove until a small house came into view. That got me worried. They pulled up beside the house and got out. Hal and Kyle started walking away from the house and into the bushes around us, but I didn't move. I stood still and studied the house. The windows were smashes with only jagged shards of glass around the edges. The paint was flaking and peeling off and the door looked as if someone had kicked half of it down. "Razer!" I snap my head around and look to see them standing in between the trees. It looked really creepy. "C'mon!"

They turned around and started walking again so I jogged after them. I nearly lost sight of them before picking up my speed and I was only a metre behind them for about twenty minutes. They move some low hanging branches out of the way before walking out into an opening over a cliff that looked out over the entire town, and the view was amazing. Hal sat down on one of the rocks, Kyle leant his back against a tree, and I just stood there, gaping at the view. I was not expecting to see this.

Hal saw my expression and laughed. "Pretty cool huh? This is where we go when we don't know what to do. You said you didn't know, here's where we go." He then pointed to my feet. "Sit." I did as he said and continued to stare out at the view. I hugged my legs to my chest and rested my head on my knees.

Hal and Kyle started talking behind me, but I didn't bother listening to them. I was too busy looking over the town. This place just seemed to bring such peace that I could feel myself relaxing and my worries slipping away almost entirely. _Almost._ My mind went to Ilana and how much she would have loved to be here. I winced as I pushed those thoughts away and pulled out my phone to distract myself. Unfortunately, Hal snatched it out of my hands and put it in his pocket. "Ah-ah. No phones up here."

"But I-" He cut me off.

"Nope. That's the rules up here. No phones, no electronics. Just use your mind and focus on the world around you." I sighed and turned my attention back to the view in front of me. Hal sat down beside me and rest his elbow on my shoulder. "So . . . have you been enjoying your first few weeks at school?" I pull a face that says _sort of_ and he snorts. "Yeah, I'm still not a fan either. Too much pressure for me being a senior getting ready to leave into the _big world_! Trust me; you've got it good until you hit year 11. Then you get exams and a shit load of homework thrown at you."

I nodded. He looked at me for a moment before speaking again. "You don't talk much, do you?" I shook my head and he frowned in what looked like concern. "Can you please say something to reassure me." It wasn't a question, but an order. He seems like someone who could give orders like a leader. He acted like a leader.

I smirked at him and nodded my head. I heard him groan quietly to himself. I was annoying him. "I'm trying to have a conversation with you and it just feels like I'm talking to myself." I could tell he was trying to stay in a calm state, but I could hear the frustration in his voice and I laughed to myself. He had been trying to make me open up and talk for weeks now and I hadn't done a thing in his favour. But he refused to give up on having at least _one_ conversation with me. I don't know what he saw in me that he wanted to hang around with me, but he wouldn't give up. He refused to let me be alone. At first it was weird but now, I realize it as him trying to be my friend. Something I wasn't used to.

My thoughts were cut short when Hal's hand was waving in front of my face. I focused back on him and he seemed worried about something. "You're back? Good. I almost sent out a search party." He was trying to hide his concern with humour, which is something I've noticed him do quite a bit since we met. He is always worried about something but he tries to hide it. I don't think Kyle has spotted it, but I sure have.

"Calm down, I'm here." I finally said. Hal blinked a few times and he was gawking at me.

"He spoke?" He snapped his head around to Kyle, who wasn't paying attention; he was too busy staring at his feet. "Kyle! He spoke! Razer said something! It's a miracle!" Hal seemed like an excited child who had just woken up on Christmas morning. Kyle shrugged his shoulders and looked up at me for a brief moment. "Good to know you've gotta voice, kid." He then turned back to his feet and I faced back to Hal. He hadn't noticed his friends disinterest and turned back to me with a big grin on his face, he was actually jumping up and down where he sat. That freaked me out so I shuffled away from him which only seemed to make him laugh.

-X-

We sat there for several hours until the sun started setting, and where we were sitting, we got the best view. We got up once it got dark and started jogging back towards the car; we had to get there before it got too dark to see anything. We had gotten hot by the time we got back and we were all sweating like crazy, but I refused to take my jumper off, no matter how much the sweat made my cuts sting like hell.

We got back to the house and got in the car. "Who owns that house?" I had asked. Hal shrugged and looked at me from the rear view mirror.

"Dunno. No one, I guess. I've never seen anyone go in there and it looks pretty shitty to me. I think it used to be an old holiday house or something. No one's used it in years." I nodded and Kyle started the engine and pulled out of the driveway. He turned onto the main road.

-X-

"Oi kid," Kyle looked at me through the mirror. "where's yer house?" I hadn't even thought about that. I had been so caught up with them to even think I would have to go back to that hell.

Reluctantly, I started giving him directions to get to my street before reaching the front of my driveway. I got out and started walking, but was stopped when Hal grabbed me by my wrist from the window of the car, and it took nearly all my strength to ignore the pain coursing up my arm from the cuts. I turned around to face him and he was holding my bag in his hand. "You might need this." He handed it to me and I swung it over my shoulder.

I watched as they drove away and Hal had his hand out the window, waving at me. I waited until they were out of sight before I started walking up the driveway to the front door. Unfortunately, Anthony was waiting for me at the door with his arms folded. He was really pissed.

"Where have you been? It's almost eight o'clock." I rolled my eyes and walked past him, heading straight to the lounge room.

"Like you care. I bet you didn't even notice I was gone. I bet you were happy I wasn't here." He gripped my upper arm and swung me around and slammed my back against the wall.

"Why do you have a phone if you don't answer it?" Shit! I had completely forgotten about that. Hal still had my phone from when he took it. "You know you can't be out of my sight once school is finished. And I know you know you must return straight home." That was the least of my worries. "Zillious had to clean the kitchen for you. You owe him now."

"Oh please, I don't owe Zillious anything. He's a lazy fat slob who throws a tantrum every time he doesn't get his way. Trust me; I did him a favour. _He_ owes _me_." Anthony made a growling noise before he back-handed me across the face. It stung a bit and I had to rotate my jaw a couple of times to put it back into place.

"Don't. Talk. About my son." His hand on my arm moved to wrap around my throat and pressed me back against the wall. I tried pushing away but it was no use. He tightened his grip on my throat, making it harder to breathe as I fought to get him off. Black spots began to blur my vision and he threw me onto the ground. I gasped deeply and he kicks me in the side of my ribs. "Get up!" He kicked me again and I knew that one was going to bruise badly.

I slowly gained my feet and he punched me in the nose. I felt something snap and I tasted blood. Great! "You son of a bitch! You broke my nose! Fuck you!" He punched me again, harder, and sent me into the wall.

"Don't you _ever_ speak to me like that!" He growled.

"Why? You don't control me! You don't get to tell me what to do!" I spat out some blood and it landed on his _white_ shirt. He raised his fist, ready to punch me again. I ducked my head causing his fist to hit the wall and I ran through the house. He chased me and I sped into the direction of one of the rooms. I knocked things over to try and stop him but it did almost nothing. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me before pressing my back against the door. He managed to break the lock but I somehow was able to keep the door shut. I waited until he stopped before smashing a hole in the window and climbing out. There was no way in hell I was going to stay here. I jumped out onto the ground out the side of the house and ducked under every window before sprinting out the front yard and into the street.

I took the L's off my care before I got in and pulled out onto the road. I knew exactly where I was going. I ignored the swelling of my nose and wiped away most of the blood as I drove towards the cemetery. I needed to talk to them.

-X-

I pulled up outside the cemetery and looked into the rear-view mirror, cursing how swollen my nose had gotten. I put two fingers on either side of my nose, taking a deep breath before snapping it back into place. I can tell you, it hurts like a bitch!

I sat in the care for awhile before finally stepping out and walking in the front gates. I headed towards the back corner of the graveyard where their grave stones stood. Mum's stood alongside Ilana's, both having flowers placed in front of them. Flowers _I_ put there.

I sat down between them both and stared at their names engraved on the stone. The date of birth and date of . . .

Sigh.

I didn't pay any attention to the numbers and words written in stone. Only the dash in the middle. That was the most important detail of the entire gravestone. The dash in the middle that showed the time they were here with me. All the time we shared together, all the memories, they all live in that tiny little dash.

A few tears escaped me and I started talking to them. It is something I've started doing. I tell them everything that had happened and hope they can hear me. I told them about Hal and Kyle. I told them everything about O.A . . . I told Mum personally about Anthony, about who he really is. I never once mentioned the new habit I had picked up with the blade. I knew she would know. But I couldn't bring myself to say it aloud.

I ignored the fact that it was nearly ten o'clock by the time I was finished talking to them. I ignored the fact that I had nowhere to sleep. I laid myself down between the two headstones and stared up at the stars. That's when I remembered all the times I had watched Lion King. With the past kings who live up in the stars and watch over us. Mum was up there with the kings. And so was Ilana.

"I miss you . . . both of you . . ." I waited for an answer I knew wasn't coming. More tears made their way down my face, and after several hours, I fell asleep.

 **Well, here you go. I'm not exactly happy with this chapter but oh well, I only care if you guys like it.**

 **Did anyone guess who the girl was in Razer's class?**

 **Thank you JEN-M for the suggestion for the next chapter. It really helped.**

 **Open to any ideas/suggestions.** **Please, Read & Review & have a nice day.**


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